Your Toolkit for Survival

At certain times each year, mental health awareness is highlighted in media, through fundraising events and mental health advocates. A lot of focus is put on the illness and the resources available to deal with it. And this is indeed very, very important. But, I can't help but feel that mental health challenges and what becomes the illness, gets treated like it's something that only happens to some people.

In reality, depression, anxiety, stress, hopelessness and helplessness are actually part of our human condition! If you are alive and have lived for any length of time on this earth, you would have or will experience one or all of these emotions. 

In your life, something or someone will come along and drop you to your knees. You will experience  a time where you feel like a Mac truck hit you. You will get in above your head. You will experience something that will tempt you to want to give up, end the pain. You may even entertain suicide. Does this mean you are mentally ill? Not necessarily. It does mean you are human and you are vulnerable and you bleed.

So, how do you prepare for this eventuality? This is not an if, but a when. If you've made it this far, what did you do to get yourself through it? What tools, methods, activities helped you survive? How can you build on that to make yourself stronger and more resilient? I invite you to really think about this, write it done. Your experience(s), how they made you feel, and how you got through them.

Have you ever felt like you were totally alone in your misery? No one else could possibly be going through what you are. No one could possibly understand. No one else can possibly be as worthless as you are! Sound familiar? Well, guess what? EVERYONE has felt these things, these emotions, at some point in their life. 

When you are in this zone, your total focus is on you. You embrace this pain, this misery and spiral into a dark place. So, how do you dig yourself out? Your survival tool kit may be different  from someone else's. Because of your own life experiences and beliefs, some things will work for you but not another.

Now, some times when you feel any of these negative emotions, you can get yourself healed with a change of attitude or a change of scene. But, other times you may need something bigger than yourself!

Whether that something bigger than yourself is God, Spirit or the Universe, your soul will know it. Don't believe me? There is a soft voice inside of you, no not the one that beats you up, but the gentle whisper deep within your soul that plants the seeds of dreams, goals, desires in you. That whisper that gives you your WHY. 

Every moment of your life, you have been in conversations with this something bigger than yourself. Your most profound experiences are part of something bigger than yourself. Have you ever seen something that took your breathe away? It's usually in nature... a beautiful valley, mountain, sunset, sunrise, you get the idea. If you take the time to breathe deeply and allow this feeling to fill you, you will feel how truly connected you are to our universe and the collective. And no matter how alone you may sometimes feel, you are never really alone. And when you spiral deep into the darkness, it is this spiritual entity that will guide you out and back into the light. And when you embrace this truth, add it to your toolkit.

Sadly, denying this spiritual truth, I believe, has caused much of the crisis in our modern world. 

Our children are dying! Why does an 8 year old commit suicide? How horrible must they think their life is? 

I don't have to have doctorates, and degrees, all due respects, to see that many people and especially our children don't have the coping skills to survive! We KNOW that life will knock them down, sometimes. We KNOW that sometime in their life, stress, depression, anxiety, and so on, will find them. Let's help prepare them for those eventualities. Let's help them put together their toolkit for survival. 

Often times, we want to protect and shelter our children from the big bad world. We don't let them see us in pain. But if we hide that part of ourselves from them and they don't get to see us deal with these eventualities, they won't  either. If they see us deny our feelings, they may think it's wrong to have those feelings. 

Reassure them that there is something inside of them that is bigger than any problem they will have. That you love them, but that there is also a love that transcends all time and space and is with them always, even when you are gone. Impress upon them that there is nothing that they can't discuss with you. Let then know no matter how busy you may be, you're never too busy for them. Give them rules to follow, boundaries and a solid foundation on which to build  their moral code. Show them what kindness and compassion looks like. Show them how to see the humour in the every day and not to take themselves too seriously. Laugh a lot with them. 

Forget their privacy! You need to know who your child's friends are, what they're doing, what they're watching, playing and experiencing. Let them know you trust them and respect them and pay attention to any mood swings or uncharacteristic behaviour. Be nosey. 

My first born is and always has been very artistic, eccentric, and unique. When he was getting ready for kindergarten, I was sure this child would get bullied and beat up at school because of this. I had no idea how to protect him from this. Thankfully, as far as I know, that had never happened. His teachers said he was kind, respectful and the nicest little trouble maker they ever taught!

And yet, a time came when he experienced something that could have ended him. But, because through it all, deep inside, he knew he could come to me when he needed to make sense of everything, he did.  It's an incredible story but his to tell.

Why did this happen to this precious child of mine? For no good reason but that it did. And so it's also important to acknowledge that something may possibly happen to you or someone you love, that no reason on earth is good enough to justify it. That too, is one those mysteries of life that we have to accept and survive.

No amount of preparation or skill, can protect you from what may happen to or knock you down. And you say, crap I didn't  think of that! But there are things that you can do that may help you.

Toolkit of Survival: may include but not limited to...

• Have someone in your life you love and trust, that loves and trusts you, to talk to.

• Build your support team.

• If who you love most died, talk to them still.

• Talk to yourself in your mind or out loud. Sometimes you need to hear a voice.

• See where community support services are. Every community has a help line. Sometimes you need to talk to a stranger who is trained to listen.

• Get out of yourself often.

• Go outside, for a walk, a jog, a run. Sit under a tree, feel the earth, close your eyes and breathe deeply.

• Meditate.

• Do some good works-volunteer

• Choose things that cost NO money, so you never have that excuse.

• Get a blank book and journal. Have one journal of all you are going through to get it out and on paper. Give yourself permission to be wild, angry, hurt, lost.

• Get a blank journal for your dreams, your hopes, your wants. Don't hold back. This is only between you and the Divine. What would you do if you had no obstacles? Who would you be? Date your writing!

• Get creative; draw, paint, sing, dance.

• Listen to music that touches your soul, that's healing.

• Limit social media, video games, reality shows. Filter Facebook to only receive good things.

• Read! Read a personal development book, article, read a book of inspiration, of triumphs.  Not a reader? Do it anyway. Even one per month. In 12 months, you may surprise yourself in how well you learned to cope.

• Smile at another person, it's contagious.

• Laugh out loud, even when you don't feel like it. It sends good stuff to your brain.

• Eat nutritional foods. Give up junk food, ok you can get off the wagon sometimes. Our body and brain can not function optimally when starving.

• Remove the temptations that numb you, like alcohol, drugs, meds that you depend on to cope (ask your medical provider, first).

• Rest.

• PRAY

If I can leave you with this thought. Whatever you are going through, it WILL pass and you will rise up better and stronger than ever. You are extraordinary! You are loved by a power greater than all of us. God does LISTEN - all the time, every time. You are wanted and needed in this world. Know that there is something amazing inside of you that must come out. You are not done yet.

Life may have mountains to climb, obstacles to overcome, but the sun rises each morning